The Palace Hotel, Torquay

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Against Rachel’s advice I booked ‘The Palace’ Hotel for an overnight stay in Torquay and will probably never live it down. We were recommended it by a resident of the town and it looks ok on the website but my god, it was surreal… A bit like being on a cruise – everybody was over 60 – the dining room was huge and a pianist played what my nephew described as ‘funeral music’ to mask the din of clattering plates and chomping dentures…

The decor was dated throughout but the rooms especially so. An overwhelming stench of airfreshener greeted us and covered up the pongy whiff of drains… When I complained the camp receptionist reluctantly moved us to an equally dismal but odor free room. There I spent a restless night on a bed that’s best years were way behind it, springs twanging everytime I turned over… The bathrooms were horrible. I honestly haven’t seen accommodation this bad since I was a student. Actually, maybe once or twice since – in India.

It’s redeeming features would be the friendlier staff and the comedy value – it definitely had that – but overall it’s a terrible place and gets 1/10 and place in shame corner….

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